The Maiden Voyage

hip, hip... hooray! hip, hip... hooray! hip, hip... hooray!
3 cheers for the NYC MTA!!!

Today was the day. Noah and I were on our way to church this morning. We were running a little late, but luckily Jon was able to walk with us on his way to work. So, he helped us down the first set of stairs to the subway mezzanine. After we got through the service door and approached the next set of stairs to the subway platform, I noticed that the baracades to the new elevator were all down. I was shocked! Could it actually be true? Could the elevators finally be running? I was hesitant at first because I didn't see a crowd of people cheering for the grand opening of the elevators as I expected to see (apparently I was the only one this excited about the new addition to the subway station at 8:00am on a Sunday morning.) But as I took a second look and finally pressed the shiny, brand-new elevator button to see if it was working, the doors magically opened and I heard angels singing praises and welcoming me (oh wait, that was just in my head...) As I stepped inside I automatically started to cover my nose as I usually do in subway elevators (because that's where the homeless people like to hang out) but I quickly stopped myself and took a nice deep breath in. The air was so clean (well as clean as NYC subway station air is) and everything was so shiny and new. We'll see how long that lasts -- but I'll take what I can get! And with most gentle ease, we quickly drifted down to the subway platform. I was so excited about the whole experience that when we got down to the platform, I busted out my camera and we took another trip up and down on the elevator just for kicks!

I thought I'd share:

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(P.S. -- This is what it looked like last week.)

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The trip home was very exciting too. To my surprise, the elevators on the downtown side of the platforms were also working. (lucky for Julia's husband -- he is usually the designated stroller-carrier on the way home from church). After we took the elevator from the platform to the mezzanine, I realized that the elevator from the mezzanine to the street was open too! What an exciting day!



Ironically enough, when I got home, the elevator in my building was broken...

I'm so glad when daddy comes home...

As I've mentioned before, my husband just started his first year of residency at Columbia in psychiatry. While he was attending medical school, we both had an understanding that residency was going to be hard. We were especially aware of this after making the decision to stay in NYC and do residency at the same place that Jon attended medical school. But we both thought that maybe having a preview of what was to come during medical school would give him the heads up that he needed to ultimately survive the ridiculousness that is residency. During Jon's 4th year of med school, things seemed to be falling into place so perfectly. We felt good about the way that we ranked residency programs for the match and were fairly confident about the direction that our life was headed. Match day was so exciting -- we opened "the letter" and found out that we were going to be staying here. As soon as it was confirmed, we immediately began plans for rearranging our apartment to accommodate a baby. The planning stages of this process were so fun. I had stopped working by that point and Jon was around most of the time because he was just doing research to finish out the year. It was so nice to have so much time to spend together. We did things that most expecting parents of a first baby do -- we read books to my belly, shopped for impractical baby clothes, searched through countless baby name books to find the coolest/uncommon-but-well-known/easy-to-spell/non-girly boy name we could find (that last one was Jon's personal mission), etc.

However, we soon realized that nothing could've prepared us for the double-whammy of adjusting to life as new parents and Jon's life as a resident. With Jon working about 90 hours a week these days, quality family time is very rare. But luckily as Noah has hit his "stranger anxiety" stage, daddy hasn't become a stranger. Noah loves when he sees Jon. His face totally lights up and he's all smiles and giggles. And as you can imagine, so am I! (I've forgotten what it's like to share parental responsibilities and on the rare occasion that this does occur, I don't even know what to do with myself. It's actually really sad.) But, we have definitely tried to make the best of the time that we do have together as a family and we have had some great experiences. (even if it is only once a month and Jon is in his post-call-zombie mode)


I thought I'd share some recent family fun...


playing catch with daddy (FHE activity)



on daddy's shoulders (his favorite place)



Jon had the day off today so we planned a fun-filled day together. Noah had his first Music Together class which was so much fun. And we were so glad that Jon got to come with us on the first day. Noah was the youngest kid there, but he totally loved singing (i.e. having mom be way too entusiastic about the "hello" song), dancing (i.e. going up on dad's shoulders while he spun around), and playing instruments (i.e. eating instruments). Then we headed down to the Museum of Natural History for the afternoon. The museum was super crowded -- I think every family with children in the city had the exact same idea as we did. (p.s. never take the stroller to the museum on days when the public schools are closed and it is freezing outside). But we got a chance to try out our new baby carrier backpack -- the ergo. (Noah was breaking my back in the baby bjorn, so we upgraded). Jon looked so cute with Noah strapped on his back. I'm SO sad I didn't get a picture of it. Anyway, we wandered around the museum and even got to see the IMAX film about Mars. Noah was so good -- he was quiet through the whole thing! (I couldn't tell if it was the constant flow of cheerios I was pumping into him or the extremely loud rocket ships blasting through the seemingly endless layers of the atmosphere.) And, drumroll please, I have a new favorite Museum of Natural History exhibit!!!! The new Human Origins exhibit is super cool. It was extremely crowded, so I definitely have to go back, but it was very interesting. When Noah decided he had enough of the museum, we walked up to Saigon Grill and had lunch. Noah was such a big boy at the restaurant. He sat in a booster seat for the first time and ate rice with his chopsticks and drank water through a straw. (he's very advanced for his age :) It was quite the family fun day.

family fun at Saigon Grill

(noah's first taste of Vietnamese cuisine -- well, maybe just the rice...)

Happy Valentine's Day!

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved Valentine's Day. It was always such a fun holiday. February is such an bleak month anyway, that a day to celebrate love always seemed like a nice addition to the month. When I was in elementary school, I loved getting those little Valentine's Day cards that had the latest cool cartoon character on them and I always loved making my own V-Day cards with glitter and glue (I still do, actually, I even made some this year!) It was always fun to see who would give you one from your class. Then Valentine's Day got even more exciting as I got older because I always had a crush on someone. Even in those awkward junior high years, I never had a bad Valentine's Day experience. This streak of good Valentine's Days continued through my angry-girl/boy-hating sophomore year of college when I had my heart seriously broken, and somehow I still came up with some way to celebrate. So, when I met Jon (my husband now) I was very excited to be with someone who could understand my love of the holiday.

Referring to #15 and #42 on my 100 things about me list, here's a bit of explanation. Jon actually proposed to me on Valentine's Day. (I know... some of you are thinking "gag me!") But now you can understand how excited I was to actually be surprised (#42 ) on my favorite holiday (#15 - because every holiday is my favorite). Jon and I had been talking about getting married for months by that time and I thought I knew everything about his plans to propose. We had gone ring shopping and he knew the style of ring that I liked, so I knew it was just a matter of time. I kept hinting that it would be nice if things were official before my mom came to visit in March so she would know we were serious about getting married and more importantly, so we could start planning for the wedding that summer. But Jon just kept playing it off and telling me that he still didn't have enough money, etc. and that he was working on it. This drove me totally nuts. Valentine's Day was coming up, but the thought never occured to me that he would actually propose that night. So, when V-Day finally rolled around, we made some pretty standard plans to have dinner that night and maybe watch a movie. That day, as I went to my classes, I was shocked at how many of my friends were showing up to class with a new addition to their ring finger. (I guess it's not that suprising -- I did go to BYU.) And all of my roommates kept bugging me about whether or not I thought Jon was going to propose that night. I laughed -- I told them the same line he had been telling me for months.

That night, Jon came and picked me up and we went back to his apartment. I thought that maybe we were just going to hang out before we went out to eat. We ran into his roommate who had been dating his girlfriend for just a few months less than we had been dating. He was totally giddy because he had decided to propose to his girlfriend that night. I knew that his girlfriend had NO idea, whatsoever. And then he showed me the ring... he had designed it himself and it was amazing. The second I saw that ring, it was like a switch just turned on inside of me and I got insanely jealous. He could sense my jealousy and then he even started rubbing it in. I couldn't believe it! He started telling me how they were going to go up to Sundance and he was going to write "Will you marry me?" in the snow. This completely sent me over the edge -- I was so upset. Then Jon came in and told me that he had made dinner and that we were going to be staying in. Usually I would have thought this idea was so sweet, especially because I knew he had a big test the next day and he had spent so much time preparing the meal, but it didn't matter at this point. All I could think about was the fact that I wasn't the one up at Sundance being proposed to that night. Jon could sense that I was upset and kept trying to cheer me up, but it didn't matter I was just way too upset (it was at this point that I though that my streak of wonderful Valentine's Days was over). So, I did what any respectable insanely jealous girlfriend would do -- I started nagging. I started asking him why he didn't have the money yet and I started telling him about how my friend's dad knows a jeweler and that he could get a discount, etc., etc., etc. It was almost as though he was enjoying my nagging because he started coming up with these ridiculous reasons why he still wasn't ready to propose. I couldn't even finish eating -- I was so mad at that point. So, we decided to cut the meal short and exchange gifts. I was sure my gift was better than his --I had gotten him the latest Abercrombie sweater, afterall. He told me that he would just be a minute and that he had to finish wrapping my gift. As I sat and sulked in his living room, I could hear him fussing with wrapping paper and tape up in his room. He was taking SO long and this just made me get more upset. He seriously took like 30 minutes to wrap my gift. And all I could think about was, "It wouldn't be taking this long if you had just bought a ring!" Finally, he came down with a HUGE box. I just about lost it. As soon as I saw that box, I though for sure that I knew what it was. I thought it was this giant stuffed V-Day frog that I saw at Wal-mart the week before when we were there and I said that I thought it was cute. I was so sure that as I sat there tearing the paper off and opening the box up, I was trying to figure out how I was going to fake the fact that I was excited about it. I continued to open up the box as I envisioned the bright green fur popping out, but to my sheer surprise -- all I saw was a tiny little jewelry box taped to the bottom of the big box. I burst into tears! My emotions had been on such a rollercoaster by this point that I didn't even know what to do with myself. So, Jon took the box and opened it. He got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I was so excited! But then I started to realize how I had been acting and I couldn't stop apologizing. He just laughed. He knew how mad I was, but he just kept pushing my buttons because he thought it would be an even bigger surprise. And it was! He made a CD of music from my favorite Julia Roberts movies (refer to #28 on my list) and we danced the night away. It was perfect.

Jon actually had the day off yesterday (his first day off in 3 weeks) so we were able to spend some quality time together. We woke up to snow (#68 on my 100 things) making the day even more exciting! Jon got up with the baby in the morning (yay! -- love those days) and I made french toast in the shape of hearts.

We celebrated with Noah too. We gave him 2 new books, "Mommy Hugs" and "Daddy Kisses", (from my recent discovery of the discount children book section at Marshalls!) and I gave him a Snoopy Whitman's chocolate box (really meant for me, of course). I have always been excited to give my kids those cute Charlie Brown chocolate boxes ever since my mom gave them to us as kids :) I made Jon a scrapbook of some photos of us together (in hopes of remembering "the good times") and helping us get through this time now when we never see each other. And Jon got me flowers and chocolates (#55 -- hooray!) We delivered V-Day cookies to some friends and then we ordered Indian food after Noah went to bed. It was a great day.

Super Baby Food

Before becoming a mother, I never considered myself to be the type that had my every move planned out as to how I was going to raise my child, like I know some people do. However, I knew there were some things that I was definitely going try to do on a regular basis -- I wanted to read to my baby everyday- even as a newborn (because I want him to read by age 3, like his daddy), I wanted to have classical music playing all of the time (because I want him to be a musical prodigy and play every instrument), I wanted to teach him sign language (so he can communicate effectively and not whine --oh yeah, and be a genius), I wanted him to become an independent sleeper as early as possible (mostly for my benefit), and I wanted to breastfeed for at least 9 months (because "breastmilk is best" and apparently breastfed babies are geniuses too). Well, some of you know how those last 2 have turned out so far... But when it came time to introduce solid foods, I wasn't really sure what to do. What do I feed him? How much do I feed him? How often do I feed him? Do I make it myself or buy the commercial baby food jars? (my biggest disappointment as a mother so far has been the fact that my son did not come with an instruction manual...)

So, I started to ask around like every new mom does. I was disappointed by my pediatrician's lack of interest in my concern. He just gave me his usual scripted line of "the baby's doing great -- he's growing and he's healthy -- don't stress!" He obviously doesn't know me very well. Then I asked a few of my friends and soon realized that the ones who don't have babies that are around his age really don't remember the details of their children's month to month development and their advice becomes similar to my pediatrician's -- again, not helpful. I finally got some sound advice from a friend of mine who has a baby that is a month older that Noah. This was perfect --she had just gone through the same exact thing and was able to tell me exactly what to do. She recommended a book called "Super Baby Food" and said that it was really great because it had month by month charts of what kind of foods babies can eat and the right proportions, etc. So, I went out and bought the book. At first glance, I thought -- "wow, I don't know if this book is for me." It was really a complete guide to how to make your own baby food: from Super Baby Porrige to Super Baby Snacks! I'll be honest, it was a little too Super Mom for my taste. But when I saw the charts that showed the exact number of ounces and the exact kinds of food that the baby should be getting everyday, I couldn't pass up buying it simply for that purpose. (besides, the charts were in spreadsheet format -- and you all now know my love for spreadsheets!)



I started feeding Noah a few of the typical "first" baby foods -- rice cereal, pears, and bananas. It went pretty well. He really liked eating from a spoon and seemed to enjoy a change of pace from his bottle. So, for the first month I just bought the commercial baby food jars. I rationalized it by thinking that he wasn't really eating enough of it to go through the process of actually making the food from scratch and I needed to check for allergies and see what kinds of food he actually liked.

he really is enjoying it , even if it doesn't look like it!

Eventually I started to increase his portions as he was growing and I soon realized how expensive the commercial baby food actually was, especially at my corner grocery store. It was also getting more difficult to find the food the he liked there because they don't know how to order and stock their food correctly... don't get me started. My mom had also been giving me a hard time about buying the commercial food and tried to tell me how easy and cost effective it was to just make it myself. So, one day when I couldn't find Noah's favorite veggies at Gristedes, I decided to try to make them myself. I followed the directions from the Super Baby Food book and I was so proud of my batch of peas when I finally completed it. I sat Noah up in his high chair and got him all ready with his bib. I set the bowl of peas on the table and turned back to get a spoon, when Noah grabbed the bowl and knocked it off the table. I was devastated! I think I actually cried. So, I tried to salvage what was left and at least feed that to him.

The following is a video clip of what took place next:




Needless to say it didn't go very well. I guess Super Baby Food isn't for every baby -- or maybe Noah needs to perfect his Super Baby eating skills before he's ready... I'm still trying to perfect my Super Mom cooking skills and make his Super Baby Peas a bit more palatable.

100 Things About Me

I was inspired by my friend Julia to create a list of 100 things about me. It was kinda fun... I encourage all of you to try it.

1. I love to watch Anne of Green Gables and eat macaroni and cheese when I'm sick.
2. I am terrible at returning things that I borrow.
3. I wish I knew how to cook.
4. I was in my college marching band. (Go Cougars!) I was the piccolo section leader for 2 years and the VP of rehearsal preparation.
5. I am a terrible swimmer.
6. I am obsessed with reality TV.
7. I have seen 25 Dave Matthews Band concerts.
8. My husband and I met because of our love for DMB.
9. I wish I knew how to take good pictures.
10. I'll do whatever Oprah tells me to do.
11. I am super competitive even though I like to pretend that I'm not -- especially when I play UNO and miniature golf.
12. I am obsessed with The Gap.
13. I love to watch paid programming TV early on Saturday mornings -- I am a total succor for whatever they are trying to sell.
14. Living in NYC has made me a much more cynical person.
15. I love every holiday and get way too excited about them. But I hate dressing up for Halloween.
16. I always cry on my birthday.
17. I buy jeans that are way too expensive.
18. I wish I was better at playing tennis and bowling. (even though whenever my husband tries to teach me, we always end up arguing.)
19. I continue to watch re-runs of "A Baby Story" on TLC even though I was extremely traumatized when I gave birth to my own baby.
20. I think it's funny when my baby gets scared of things like his own toys and the blender.
21. I want my son to play the tuba when he gets older, but my husband won't allow it.
22. I think good kindergarten teachers are angels sent from heaven.
23. I'm scared of the dark.
24. I wish I liked to read more.
25. I love to go camping.
26. Someday I want my own beach house.
27. I get extremely cranky when I'm hungry.
28. I love every Julia Roberts movie ever made.
29. I fall asleep when I watch movies. (it usually takes me at least 3 tries to finally finish one.)
30. I love to buy office supplies and get jealous in September when kids are buying back-to-school supplies.
31. My dream job is to be a secretary.
32. My husband taped over my wedding video while he was trying to record "The Bachelor" for me.
33. I wish I had a sister.
34. I could spend hours walking around Target.
35. My favorite movie is "The Parent Trap" with Hailey Mills.
36. I love the Museum of Natural History -- my favorite exhibit is the one about the eskimos.
37. I always get tired when I walk around art museums.
38. I hate amusement parks.
39. Banks make me nervous.
40. I am afraid of heights -- especially when walking on bridges.
41. I get motion sick on just about every kind of transportation.
42. I love surprises but I am hardly ever surprised because I like to snoop.
43. The only time I've ever been really surprised was when my husband proposed to me.
44. I love to do kickboxing for exercise -- mostly because I have a lot of pent-up aggression.
45. I am a succor for fad diets.
46. I wish I had paid attention in my history classes when I was in school.
47. I can't write anything unless I have the perfect pen.
48. I wish I knew how to sew.
49. I love doing crafts but I am not very creative.
50. I wish I was a scrapbooker but I'm just way too obsessive.
51. I like to eat at restaurants that I can't afford.
52. I have too many shoes.
53. I have always wanted to go on a makeover show.
54. I am intimidated by old ladies and 13-year olds.
55. My husband buys me expensive jewlery, flowers, and gift certificates to spas -- a girl's dream.
56. I am a chocoholic.
57. My little brother is the coolest 15-year old I know.
58. I've never been to the circus, but I've always wanted to go.
59. I love going to the zoo.
60. I don't think I could ever have a pet dog or cat.
61. I love looking at maps.
62. My shower curtain has a map of the NYC subway system on it.
63. One day I want to have my own music school.
64. I love playing the flute, but I hate practicing.
65. I think I could write good children's books.
66. I think my baby is a genius because he loves when I read books to him.
67. I know every song ever sung on a Barney show.
68. I love when it snows and I think that everything should be cancelled. When I was a kid, I lived for snow days and to this day I still watch the school closings on the news when it snows just for fun.
69. I think it's funny when news anchors go on location live to report that something happened there, but everything is over and they just stand there alone talking about what happened.
70. I never realized how realistic Seinfeld actually was until I moved to NYC.
71. I had a string of very random jobs when I was putting myself and my husband through school: I was a bra sales girl (I know how to fit bras -- a very useful skill), I was a nanny for a rich upper east side family, I am a trained instrument repair technician, I was a candy & cigarette merchandiser for a grocery store.
72. No job I've ever had has made me want to improve myself more than when I was teaching.
73. I wish I could run the NYC Board of Education.
74. I love wearing pajamas.
75. I think it should be a law that everyone has to take a nap.
76. I wish I could make interesting comments in Sunday school.
77. I've always wanted to be a cheerleader.
78. I wish I could dance.
79. I hate watching sports on TV -- except for Yankees games and BYU football games.
80. I didn't get my license until I was 18 and I didn't learn how to drive a stick shift until I was 21.
81. I think a good hair dresser can change lives.
82. I wish I liked to entertain more.
83. I've never voted.
84. I like to make up spreadsheets and I think everyone should know how to use Excel.
85. I think airports are exciting.
86. I hate scary movies.
87. I rent "I Love Lucy" episodes from Netflix.
88. I used to be scared of crossing the street until I moved to NYC.
89. I can always find a Coldplay song to fit the mood I'm in.
90. I like to pretend I know a lot about opera.
91. Opera singers make me nervous.
92. I wish I could speak another language.
93. I wish I was from Switzerland.
94. Whenever I hear a new word or name, I automatically try to think of the spelling.
95. I lost the 6th grade district spelling bee because I couldn't spell the word "absence."
96. I spell the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" really fast when I'm nervous.
97. I listen to Greenday when I go running.
98. I really don't like to run, but I do it anyway because it's the only I am able to stay in shape.
99. My husband is training to be a psychiatrist and I'm scared that our kids are going to turn out a little weird.
100. I should probably be in therapy.

Strollers and the Subway

So, I am a new mom living in New York City. I have and 8-month old baby boy named Noah. I have lived in the city for 4 years while my husband attended medical school at Columbia University. He recently started his residency at Columbia and we will be living in the city for about 4 more years. We truly toiled over the decision to stay here weighing the ups and downs of raising a child in this city. We really love NYC -- there is always something to do... a good restaurant to eat at, a great museum to wander through, beautiful parks to enjoy, a broadway show to see, a random independent movie theater to go to... you name it! Living in this city also comes with many inconveniences -- living in tiny overpriced apartments, not having a car and relying soley on public transportation, carrying your groceries home from the grocery store, living under neighbors who play their music way too loud and move furniture around at 3 o'clock in the morning, etc., etc., etc. Now these inconveniences have been annoying but they never really seemed to outweigh all of the fabulous things we could do in the city. However, after having a baby, and not being able to do most of the things we did before, we quickly realized that the inconveniences were no longer just a nuisance but they were life-changing!

My biggest pet pieve so far as a NYC mommy has been having to carry my stroller up and down the stairs to get to the subway. I always knew this would be an issue. I had spent time with many of my friends who have children and helped them lug their baby gear around and I always lended a helping hand to a mommy in need when I saw her struggling at the stairs. But it wasn't until I was on my own for the first time at the top of a subway staircase that I realized the life-altering magnitude of this act. The first few times I was on my own, it took me awhile to figure out the best way to hold the stroller while balancing the diaper bag. I also realized that this was definitely going to limit my shoe attire when I went out (the most devastating reality, by the way). Yes, there would be the occasional "good NYC samaritan" to help me out, but much to my shagrin, not as often as I thought! I also quickly learned that there were only certain entrances that I could take the stroller in because there were a limited number of "service doors". So, at certain subway stations I would have to walk blocks out of my way just to be able to go through the correct entrance -- at times this would add at least 5-10 minutes to my transportation time, and as you New Yorkers out there know, those are precious minutes! I had spent 4 years in this city as a commuter figuring out ways to cut down my transportation time (i.e. knowing which entrances/exits were the closest and least crowded, knowing exactly where the subway train doors opened on the platform so I could be the first one in, walking down to a certain end of the platform so I could be closer to the exit when I got to my destination -- I could go on and on). Now I find myself going completely out of my way just to go to a subway station that has an elevator and a service door. **bear with me as I go off here for a second** I sometimes wonder how it is possible that NYC can get away with not having handicapped accessible elevators at every subway station. Then I realized that the answer is simple -- "because it's NYC, that's why! NYC can do whatever it wants!" Okay, I'm done. Anyway, one example of my new found subway routes goes as follows: On days that I have to go to church alone with the baby I will walk 7 blocks out of my way to go to a subway stop with an elevator and then take the subway one stop further than I have to go just to use that elevator and service door. Then I will walk 7 blocks back to where the church is. This whole routine basically doubles my travel time. I know what you're thinking -- "why doesn't she just suck it up and carry the stroller!" It's the principle of the matter! I shouldn't have to carry the stroller! Okay, I think you get the point.

However, there have been the occasional glimmers of hope. One Sunday morning I was running late so I couldn't do my usual routine of walking the 14 extra blocks and I was forced to take the stairs. To my surprise, I actually had 4 different people help me on the various stairs that I needed to take. And then as I got to the station where I needed to exit, I started to carry my stroller down the stairs to get to the other side of the platform in order to use the service door, when a nice man motioned to me to use the service door that was on this platform. I knew this door had been bolted up, so I never even attempted it, until he went ahead and pushed it open. I was in shock! How did I not know about this? This was possibly the best moment of my commuting life so far... When he opened the door an alarm was set off, but only for a few seconds and I was able to exit without having to go up and down 5 different sets of stairs! I can't tell you how liberating this was. Ever since that day I always use that exit. And every time I push that service door open and the alarm goes off, I just smile. Some of the other commuters give me dirty looks because the alarm is really annoying, but it's my own little way of "sticking it to the man". It gives me such a sense of empowerment!

And now for the most exciting news... (drumroll, please) I found out this week that the elevator that has been in the works for 2 years now is finally opening up at the subway station in my neighborhood!!!!! I cannot tell you how excited I am. I wanted to run up to the MTA workers that were working on it and kiss them! This is going to change my life completely! There have been so many times when I have wanted/needed to go out but just couldn't muster up the energy to get that darn stroller up and down the stairs. But now my mind can rest easy as I stroll my Maclaren Techno XT right up to the elevator entrance, press the down button, and roll right onto the subway!

elevator still boarded up on the platform

I will be posting photos of the elevator's progress as it comes along, for all of you that are interested... (which should be everyone!)

P.S. Yes, I'm aware that I really need to get a life...